Heartbroken

Today is a sad day. My sweet little Lexi pup doesn't have to suffer any more, and she is probably already chasing squirrels and catching her frisbee in heaven. She was an incredible dog, and she was my best friend. I am going to miss her terribly. More. than. words. can. say.

We found a mast cell tumor on her hind leg in November, and it was removed over Thanksgiving break. Within a week or two, we noticed a small marble sized lump on her belly. It grew so rapidly that I didn't expect that today would have come so quickly, but the cancer had spread to her lymphnodes. We tried everything to help our sweet girl. We took her to UPenn for chemo and a surgery consult, but she wasn't a candidate for surgery because the cancer had spread. After a month of treatment, we stopped so Lexi could enjoy the rest of her life. She was in pain and she wasn't the same dog. We knew we did not want to see her suffer. After the past few days, it was time. I couldn't bear to see her like that. After numerous cancelled appointments, mainly because I just didn't want to and I couldn't prepare myself, today, I put my sweet girl to rest.

Her absence in the house is depressing and the quietness is alarming. I feel so heartbroken.

I am going to think of you all the time Lex. I love you.

Lexi Girl

My google search history... mast cell tumors, cancer in dogs, vinblastine, and (as if I am not depressed enough) JT wedding proposal. I am having a rough week. We finally were able to get Lexi in to Penn, and we left with bad news.

First of all, everyone there was extremely nice, knowledgable, sympathetic, and understanding. I can see why they are some of the best in the country. After a long 5 hour day at the vet, we learned that Lexi's cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. She is in bad shape, and she will probably not live much longer. She is not a candidate for surgery since the cancer has spread to more than just the lymph node that is visibly enlarged.

The poor thing had an ultrasound of her belly, and she is sporting another new do.

I just hope it grows back quickly. I know she is freezing, and she deserves to have her fur. My hubby and I have decided to attempt chemo for Lexi. It doesn't have the same effects on dogs as it does on humans, and we hope that she won't get sick or have many side effects. If she does get sick, we will stop it right away. It may help stop her tumor from getting even bigger so that at least she will be more comfortable for the rest of her sweet little life.

Lexi is the best dog around. I don't think anyone could find another dog as good, smart, and sweet as this little pup. It just baffles my mind as to how a 4 year old dog can get cancer. I used to think humans got cancer from environmental things...pesticides on food, technology like cell phones, microwaving plastic tupperware, etc. You know I thought so many of the things we do day to day can cause cancer. But what about a dog? Someone said to me maybe a dog can get cancer from walking on a pesticide treated lawn... it feels to me like cancer is everywhere and can affect everyone. It is some scary shit.

Anyway, say a little prayer for Lexi girl. My only hope is that she never suffers or feels any pain. I hate the big "C" so much.

Thanksgiving and Lexi Doodle

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. Originally, I had planned on a fun filled, activity packed weekend with Daddy, mommy, and baby, but our plans changed as we learned our sweet Lexi girl needed sugery. She had a tumor on her hind leg that was protruding from her skin. It was an open wound, and we could tell it was bothering her. We put her on a course of antibiotics, but when nothing changed, we were told she would need surgery to remove it.

Oh, my poor Lexi. This story is dreadful. I have a few pictures too so if you have a queasy stomach, don't look at the pics. We took her in on Wednesday because we knew we would be home over the holiday to take care of her. She went in to have her tumor removed, and it went great. She was there all day, and she was groggy and out of it when we picked her up. 

About 30 minutes after we got home, we noticed that her sutures had already bust open! You can tell by this picture that some of the stitches had already popped open. We were worried about her incision being open so daddy packed her up (after all she had been through!) and took her the 24 hour emergent care vet to get her sutures fixed up.

She actually had to get her wound stapled close. So after her surgery, she had to spend another hour getting stapled. I was devastated to say the least, and I felt so bad for Lexi. All I wanted was to get her home and make her comfortable. When she got home, I made her a little bed on a blanket right next to me.

All night, she whimpered and cried and it broke my heart. I didn't get very much sleep and with a Thanksgiving dinner to prepare for our family, I was exhausted! We did have a wonderful Thanksgiving full of happiness and great food. I made a few firsts like homemade cranberry sauce, and everyone enjoyed the feast. 

The next day, more of Lexi's sutures were falling out. This poor dog couldn't catch a break. The emergent care only stapled around the sutures so her wound was not looking good. We decided to take her back to the vet to get her checked out, and they admitted her. I was not a happy camper. They decided to open it all up, clean it out, and re-close the incision with stents. So, she had two surgeries in three days. This poor girl! She came out of the second surgery and as her anesthesia wore off, she was hurting. 

She is a trooper, but she has had a rough go of it for the past four days. I hope she makes a speedy recovery because I am so sad for my Lexi girl. She hasn't moved much and I know she is in pain. I am  looking for my squirrel chasing, frisbee catching, best friend back. I can't wait to see her again!