After going to sleep, I am awakened by the little grunts and groans of my little girl on the monitor. I wait a few seconds to make sure she is really awake then I head into her dark, quiet room. As soon as she hears the door open, she hesitates because she knows I am coming. Her cries soften and she waits to see me over the side of her crib. I love scooping her up and bringing her head to my face. We get snuggled in on our rocker and she nurses. She nurses so furiously at first because she is starving, but after a minute or two, she slows down and slows down until she falls asleep again.
This is my favorite time of the day or night...when we have this special time alone. I love how her little body curls up against mine and it seems to fit so perfectly. I love her little lips with a little milk ring. I love her hands and how when she is hungry she grabs my shirt with a strong fist and as she gets full her sweet hand opens up, softens, and she caresses my chest or my shirt. I especially love the nights when she doesn't fall asleep right away and she will look at me, smile, and talk. I picture her telling me that she is just as happy and full of love as I am at that moment.
With two little girls, it is hard to be present in the moment. We are usually playing, running around, moving quickly from one thing to the other. At 3am, everything is different. It is like the world has stopped for a moment and we are peaceful.
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